Posts Tagged ‘promises’

A Promise Keeping Performance

A little over a year ago, I made a promise to myself. When I faced surgery to remove my thyroid, I faced the possibility of losing my singing voice, which I have always treasured but never actually used. I was blessed with a good ear, good lungs and the ability to carry a tune but I let my fear of stage fright keep me from singing anywhere except alone in the car. The fear of losing my ability to sing without anyone having known about it except me was far more gripping than stage fright and so I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that if I came out of that surgery with my singing voice intact, that I would get up on stage and sing – stage fright be damned!

I hemmed and hawed for awhile, as we humans often do when grappling with our fears.

Then, I got an opportunity to audition with Michael’s band, 420 Sunday. Apparently Michael had been telling them about my skills. ♥  That audition resulted in a spot in the lineup as their lead singer just 1 short month ago. Michael has gotten some slack from others about having me in the band. Some say we’re crazy, but those that know us know that we could take over the world. ♥

We had our first gig this past Friday night, only 2 weeks after forming our setlist. The guys were awesome! They made this first time on stage for me as easy as possible. I was still SO nervous (I clung to the mic stand like a security blanket and didn’t move much) but I got up there and I did it! I sang! I sang LOUD and it felt AWESOME. I cannot wait to do it again. Keeping that promise felt mighty good. I have to give major props to Michael because he believed in me, he encouraged me and he was honest with me. I never could have done this without him.

So now that you know the story – watch a few of the videos and let me know what you think! Which one is your favorite? I personally love “Like a Stone”, so I’m going to include that one. :)

Surgery Scars and Promises

Honestly, when I found out that I needed this surgery my biggest concern wasn’t the potential cancer or the scar that it would leave. My biggest fear was losing my voice; not my speaking voice but my singing voice. When I mentioned this to my mother she said “well it’s not like you sing professionally”. While that may be true, the thought of not having my gift anymore was enough to make me cry. The night before surgery I did so. I made a promise to myself that night; if I came out of this surgery with my singing voice intact I would get over my stage fright and make use of it. I felt ashamed for letting stage fright keep me from using my gift for all of these years. I will no longer take that for granted and I have a promise to keep with myself because I came out of the surgery with my voice still intact! YAY! I am going to sing! No going back, I made a promise to myself. Now the question is, with what band? :D

This is much to the chagrin of some folks that I’m sure would have liked some silence out of me for a while (like those other 3 people that live with me). It’s hard to keep me quiet though, as anyone that knows me can attest. Minutes after surgery, I was chatting away at the nurse who refused to give me the ice I wanted. Apparently since I was sick immediately after waking up, she didn’t want to give me any ice. I wanted ice. I was vocal about it. That didn’t seem to matter. ;)

I only had to spend 1 night in the hospital which was a relief.  Although I did have a room full of visitors which made it a nice stay. Sometimes you never know how truly loved you are until there’s a room full of people standing there staring at you with gifts (and it’s not your birthday).  I digress.

So the good news is that the surgeon doesn’t think it’s cancer. He said it was most certainly a mess and very evident of Hashimoto’s but it didn’t look like cancer.  I’ll receive the official pathology report for confirmation when I go for my follow up visit on the 16th.  I had a great surgeon who used a plastic surgery technique which leaves the scar as pretty as possible. I feel pretty lucky.

If you’re interested, I’m keeping a log of post-op pics of my incision. You can find them here.

Thanks to everyone in my life for the tremendous support and concern – including all of my online friends on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. You are like my extended family and I love you all!

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