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October is Domestic Violence awareness month. This is commemorated with a purple ribbon that you may have seen some wear on their lapel or maybe on their Twitter or Facebook avatar. Domestic violence is an epidemic that affects women in all communities regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. There’s a common misconception that only uneducated or poor women experience domestic violence, or that it’s not a widespread problem.

I was a victim of domestic violence.

It’s not something I talk about much these days, as it happened many years ago and I don’t really like to relive the experience. I was quick to recover from my physical scars but the emotional ones took much longer. In fact, some of those scars still remain. It is for this reason that I may have taken a “joke” about “Irish Sunglasses” being passed around by Facebook friends a bit too personally. However, regardless of my personal experience I think the joke is in extremely poor taste. I don’t think it’s ever ok to joke about hitting a woman.

What if that woman was your mother? Your sister? Your daughter? Is the joke still funny?

Chances are you already know someone that’s a victim, because 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.  Think of 4 women that you know – and it’s likely that 1 of them has experienced or is currently living with domestic violence. That’s a sad statistic. Now imagine you sent this “joke” to one of those women. Is the joke still funny?

I find it even more appalling that this joke was initially posted by a woman.

Even if you think that you don’t know anyone living with domestic violence, the reality is that you probably do. We are very good at hiding the evidence. Abusers are also very good at controlling their victims and what they convey to the world. I managed to escape my situation with the help of a wonderful shelter and law enforcement but many victims are not so lucky. I thought that most people had better sense than to joke about it but I see that there is still a long way to go.  So please, stop and think before you perpetuate such a disgusting act of violence.

If you want to help raise awareness, get involved with a local shelter in your community.  They are often overcrowded and provide much needed help to victims trying to escape. To find out how else you can help, please visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Whatever you do, stop joking about it. Domestic violence is NO laughing matter.

/soapbox

domestic violence ribbon