It’s an “Age” Thing. Or is it?

When I was young, I did some stupid things. Ok, I did a lot of stupid things. Was it a learning process, testing of my boundaries, the hard way of getting to know myself and my limits?

Yes.

There wasn’t a thing in the world that my mother could have said to me to make me change my ways. Not.a.thing. I was hell bent on doing things my way even if it meant a little pain along the way. Why did I do this? I could have saved myself some heartache, disappointment, embarrassment and money if I had only listened to my mother. For some of us, the road to self discovery must be a road we pave for ourselves. For others, there is a preference to mitigate the risk; following the “safe” path and staying within the boundaries assigned to them. Obviously, I was never one of those people.

However, I’m not sure I ever remember a time where the only person I was concerned with was myself.

Sure I did selfish things – but I always had concern for friends and family and what was important to them. After all, they were important to me. I did my best to show people that I cared for them, listened to them and was there for them. There have been some bumps along the way but most of my best friends have been in my life for a long time – some as long as 30 years!  I think that says something about the kind of friend that I am.

I wish I could say the same for some of the young people in my life. My sister, my son… I love them dearly but they can’t see further than 2 feet in front of themselves sometimes. I find my feelings hurt on a semi-regular basis by the lack of demonstrative interest or concern for my life’s events on their part. For my son, it’s mostly his lack of forethought with regard to my schedule. I am not a 24/7 taxi, I can’t drive you somewhere every single day! He’s actually gotten better about this but not without a “mom freaked out” moment and a heart to heart talk.

My sister and I didn’t grow up together. I’m 37, she’s 18.  We were both only children, so to speak.  My mom makes excuses for my sister but I don’t think she should. She’s had a really nice life, far from the one I had growing up. If I had as many people take interest in me and support my endeavors as she did growing up I might not have been so hard-headed.  Mom says “it’s an age thing”. I think in theory there is some truth to that but I also think that she’s always been the center of attention so it’s almost impossible to see or think outside herself.

This blog is kind of harsh but I don’t think she reads it anyway. If she does – well, then I’ve gotten a load off of my chest and she’s probably pissed at me now. There I go, paving my own path again. I never seem to take the easy way.

So what do you think? Do you think that being self-centered or self-focused is an “age thing”? Or do you think this is brought about by always being the center of attention? I know plenty of adults who haven’t outgrown it but in this instance I’m talking about teens/early 20’s.