imjustagoyle

My ex is pretty damn crazy. So crazy in fact, that I could probably come up with 1000 reasons why I hate him but I’ll spare you and give you just the top 100.

To My Ex – 100 Reasons Why I Hate You:

1. You are crazy.
2. You can’t get out of bed before noon.
3. Your driving sucks.
4. You are bald.
5. You are ugly (both inside and out).
6. You are a sociopath.
7. You think the world only revolves around you.
8. You think the world owes you something.
9. You are a hypocrite.
10. You have no respect for women.
11. You have no respect for your mother.
12. Fuck – you have no respect for anyone.
13. You blame your problems on everyone/everything else.
14. You are always focused on more instead of less.
15. You are a racist.
16. You are ignorant.
17. You think that cleaning house automatically makes you a good catch.
18. You think that having a big dick makes you a good catch.
19. You don’t think past the end of your dick.
20. You act like a child when things don’t go your way.
21. You are controlling.
22. You are manipulative.
23. You’re a liar.
24. You make your daughter feel badly about herself.
25. You don’t attend school events.
26. You don’t have the balls to face my new life FOUR YEARS LATER and still insist on “meeting places” for dropoffs/pickups.
27. You are a terrible painter.
28. You are an even worse cook.
29. You are not nice.
30. Once a crackhead always a crackhead.
31. You cost me my job.
32. You held me hostage.
33. You made me question myself.
34. You made me escape instead of just having an amicable separation.
35. You subjected my children to your insanity.
36. You tell my daughter that I’m the devil.
37. You tell my daughter that I’m on drugs.
38. When I left you, you texted me 944 times. Who does that?
39. You still think you can boss me around.
40. You have a small mind.
41.You are obsessive compulsive.
42. You dip tobacco. Gross.
43. You left your old dog with me and took the kids’ dog.
44. You actually had the nerve to ask for 1/2 of the Christmas lights in the divorce.
45. You never took all the shit you asked for in the divorce, but you still expect me to store it.
46. You use shampoo AND conditioner. Really? For what? To make your bald head shiny?
47. You tried to keep my car by sabotaging it so I couldn’t take it back. How’d that work out for ya?
48. You listen to the same music you have since 1975.
49. You don’t like to work.
50. You can’t pay your child support on time.
51. You think raising a child is “not that expensive”.
52. You think keeping your child out past midnight regularly is perfectly ok.
53. You think that feeding your child McDonalds every day is perfectly ok.
54. All my friends think you’re an asshole.
55. My family thinks you’re an asshole.
56. Fuck, everyone thinks you’re an asshole.
57. No one ever wanted to come over to the house because of you.
56. Your sense of style sucks.
57. You liked to vacuum naked at 3 am while watching porn with the curtains open.
58. You kidnapped my son.
59. You drugged me without my consent. More than once. Who does that?
60. You hit on all my friends. Creeped them all out.
61. You thought they wouldn’t tell me.
62. You thought a restraining order was just a suggestion.
63. You accused me of cheating so often that I wanted to.
64. You spent MY money and acted like it was yours.
65. You expected me to support you instead of getting a job like a normal person.
66. You actually thought you could break me. How’d that work out for ya?
67.  Your idea of a “night out” is dinner at Chili’s followed by a trip to Wal-Mart.
68. You gave me grief over traveling for work.
69. You harassed me incessantly when I had to travel for work.
70.  You served hot dogs and corn for dinner on my BIRTHDAY. #fail
71. You ruined Nicholas Cage for me.
72. You ruined Eric Clapton for me.
73. You cost me an audition for Oceans 11.
74. You didn’t like me to sing. Said I was “too loud”.  I’m in a band now and funny enough, they think I’m great.
75. When we had company, you walked around in your underwear like it was normal.
76. You never once got up in the middle of the night to feed the baby; you claimed you couldn’t because your medicine made you too “out of it”.
77. But you got up every night in the middle of the night to feed yourself.
78. You’re a pornography addict.
79. You thought buying me Coach bags made up for being a douchebag.
80. You were disrespectful to my mother.
81.  You were disrespectful to my boss.
82. You wanted me to dress sexy but then “shamed” me for drawing attention to myself.
83. You expected me to be your mother. Dude, she doesn’t even want that job.
84. You decided installing a privacy fence in the dark was necessary and that I had to help you.
85. You insisted on mailing bill payments instead of paying them online.
86. You thought my social networking was a way for me to meet “boyfriends”.
87. You pressured me to go to church, but now you never go.
88. You claim you’re a Christian but you don’t act like one.
89. You act like God’s gift to women.
90. You never take responsibility for your actions.
91. You lack compassion. Truly. Never seen it even once.
92. You tried to cheat on me when I was pregnant.
93. You ruined every.single.holiday. !!
94. Every Christmas, you were “highly disappointed” because you didn’t get enough presents. Yet you controlled the money. Um?
95. You demeaned me in front of others.
96. You demeaned me in front of my children.
97. You live with your mommy and you’re 43 damn years old.
98. You tried to sabotage my son’s relationship with his real father.
99. You’re manic depressive and you actually believe your medication helps with this. (it doesn’t)
100. Forest Gump is your idol. Shit, you are Forest Gump – minus the personality.

Suffice it to say, these are just some of the reasons he’s an ex. Don’t be shy – give me some reasons why your ex is an ex!